In this longing, and in this pain, I hear a voice softly calling, a voice firmly speaking:

"...the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted [You want to do that, Lord?], to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD [I want that], that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they will repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations."
Isaiah 61:1b-4

Switching gears here... the Hammonds, whose house we are staying in, left two bookshelves full of books, and they have a bunch of books I'd like to read. I've started two of them: The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God and Let Me Be a Woman. The latter is a book that Elisabeth Elliot wrote to and for her daughter Valerie while Valerie was preparing to get married.


Let Me Be a Woman—

p. viii - a prayer by Betty Scott Stam: "Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, and my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever."

p. 4 - "The question is, 'Whose am I?' not 'Who am I?' But people think that enough opinions will produce a unified truth. As Carlyle observed--'Vulpine knowingness sits ever at its hopeless task--from a world of knaves to deduce an honesty from their combined action."

p. 13 - Made for a man. It's a very curious thing, to think about what that means for me now. What about in eternity?

p. 36 - "My job is now over. You are a woman, God's woman, autonomous before Him. But His disciplining of you is far from finished. If you love Him, you'll do what he says. And there can be no question as to whether He means it if only you will look at His face, be silent long enough to hear what He says. 'He calls his own sheep by name.' It was when Mary heard her name that she knew her Master in the Garden after His resurrection. 'Master!' she cried in recognition of His lordship over her."

p. 34 and 37 -

Drop Thy still dews of quietness
Till all our strivings cease.
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Thy peace.

I have a hard time with those lines, because, while in a sense, yes, we have peace in Him and somewhat ordered lives, we are always straining, always striving, always dealing with things, always longing for something. "The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on all speak loudly about what you believe. 'The beauty of Thy peace' shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of the order of disorder in the soul." How can she say that? People differ. Perhaps for certain personalities, yes, but all disorderly people have disorderly souls?? Speaks loudly??